Still haven't gotten around to it

Good grief, it's difficult to work out. You would think after quitting smoking some 10 years ago I would have more stick-to-it-iveness.

Can't someone just give me a pill or a shot that will make me healthy?!

Expect the unexpected

(For this post, I will borrow the style of CrazyLady)

Mom: "Gracie, it's time for your nap..."
Gracie: "OK, Mommy."
Mom: (Seeing child with finger in nose) "Grace, don't pick your nose, Honey."
Gracie: "I'm not, Momma. I'm putting one back."

She's going to get me for this someday, I'm sure...

The family that rhymes together...

We have a white board in our bathroom on the lower level (why that is, I may explain later). We like to write notes to one another some times. Recently, we began writing little poems on the board, and the whole family took part. I thought I would share them all with you, in succession. (Betsy, for those who don't know, is Adrian's Ball Python):

Adrian, Adrian,
Sleepiest of boys.
How do you sleep
Through all of our noise? (Mom)

Betsy, Betsy,
When will you eat?
Your breakfast is dead,
And you have no feet! (Dad)

Oh no.....
Maybe on Saturday evening.
Get me a new mouse,
And I'll eat while you're sleeping (Adrian, on Betsy's behalf)

Mommy, Mommy,
I missed you today.
I can't wait to see you
On Saturday (Adrian)

My family, my family
I don't have to guess,
Of all the world's families,
I'm sure you're the best!! (Mom)

Crazy house, crazy house,
In which I dwell.
Blame it on love
In which I fell. (Dad)

My family, my family
Though minds may be leaky-est
You are endearing,
But surely the geeky-est! (Dad)

I looked in the shower,
And down in the drain
I saw that the water
Had washed out my brain.

So gently I stepped in
And reached down to grab it.
But once in my fingers,
I muttered "Dag-nab-it"

For what did I find
Swirling up around there?
It wasn't my brain,
But what's left of my hair! (Dad)

An ode to sleep, in the ancient art-form of Haiku:
My head is sleepy
I can't seem to stay awake
All I want is bed (Dad)

I've decided it's time
For me to rhyme
So I'm here to tell you
That you smell like poo! (Adrian)

Moving on

Yesterday I served my resignation to the City of St Cloud, where I have worked for the past 8 years. It is a bittersweet event as I look forward to my new opportunity and also contemplate missing the people with whom I've worked so closely. It's nice to move on, yet it's sad to leave.

My dear SiC (Sister in Christ) emailed me a comment that has been sticking with me. She said "Isn't it amazing to think we know what we want and then God gives us what we need!!!" It made me think about searching for things that we think we want or need (of course, in our country *everything* is a *need*). Over the past 8 years, there have been times where I thought I needed a new job, and every opportunity I came across turned out not to work for one reason or another. Typically it has been obvious that I was where I was supposed to be, and even when I refused to admit that it was clear to stay where I was and really pushed the issue, my efforts were frustrated and made impossible. Thank God for protecting me from myself!

But I started thinking about how this principle relates to everything in life. I think that we seek joy and happiness, only to be frustrated and left wanting. I think of the artist who seeks joy in things, only to find depression and anguish in their art. It's as if, by continually examining their state of being so closely, they are always left short of what they seek with it never being enough. I can attest to this fact, having spent years as a musician seeking to make the "big time," assuming that would bring my happiness and never achieving either. The paradox seems to hold true - seeking what I think I need leads to frustration and just the opposite.

So where does that leave me? I would suggest that one of the problems in seeking my happiness or my job or my [insert desire here] lies in the balance of all. Focusing too hard on my happiness keeps me from focusing on the things that really bring it. I start to miss the things that God has brought into my life for my good and His glory - so I miss His glory and the good thing! Focusing too hard on my job keeps me from seeing the opportunities He has given me where I am.

If you look at the night sky, especially in the more urban areas, you may notice a number of stars that you can only see if you don't look directly at them. I don't know what scientific reason there is for that, but I think it's a good example of how I should be living my life. I want to look for the stars, but not so intently that I can't see them.

And, for all my reasoning I end up going back to faith. No matter what analogy I give, I find that the only real path to my happiness and contentment (which I prefer to happiness, actually) comes in Jesus' words, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Instead of seeking a job, or happiness, or joy, seek the Kingdom in Jesus Christ, and everything I need will be given. Not to mention it will always be way better than anything I could have planned anyway...

Back in school

School started up last week for me, as I make another attempt at earning my degree. I am determined to see it through to it's end this time. It was discouraging to think that, had I stuck with it when I started in 2002 I would be finishing up right now instead of staring another 4-5 years in the face. I often wish I were doing other things than going back over polynomial equations and staying up late to do them.

But the benefit outweighs the difficulty, and I realize that I had best accomplish this now or it will be too late to have any impact on my career at all. If all goes well, I will be finishing up my degree right about the time the twins are getting really involved in all sorts of after-school activities. I don't want to miss a single practice, game, recital or opportunity to proudly watch everything they do. So I'd best get this out of the way now.

I find I enjoy it, even if it adds to the stress level that plagues me.

Where this ties in to the rest of my posts, I'm still struggling to get some time to work out. I haven't found the groove I was hoping to fall into, and now it seems even more difficult. But I'm going to continue trying and not let go of the dream. Hey, if the NY Giants can pull a Super Bowl out of their backfield (so to speak) I can live the dream of a physically fit future.